The Major's Autumn Statement: Admiral's Advice: In an iPaddy: Shopping.

" What- ho  World.
                            Baxter reminded me I have been rather short recently, in the communication stakes. My last missile was dated in March of this year; quite a gap indeed.

Little has happened since then, of any consequence. We had to forgo our usual holiday abroad, in order to change the car. The Jag was getting a little expensive and so we reluctantly  traded her in for a Lexus; which Baxter told me was ' The thinking man's Toyota.' Well whatever it is,  it's certainly bally quiet. Coming into our drive the other day, I ventured to exit the car; only to be restrained by Baxter, thinking it had stopped already.

Baxter, of course loves all that techy stuff; including having a screen which shows you what you have bumped into, when reversing and sore teeth (or something) that allows him to speak commands to the vehicle. Naturally this involved some tuition in order to overcome the language barrier between Glaswegian and Japanese, but eventually after many a curse, the pact was formed.

Baxter, is much more his old self these days, as the fortunes of his football club  Rangers, continue to rise . He told me that they have yet to taste defeat and are eleven points clear of the pack in league 1.

Woke up the other morning feeling a little odd. Couldn't put a finger on it. Then it dawned upon me I was clear-headed, bright, fully mentally engaged and startlingly sober; not 'pickled ' at all. All  very strange.

 But then, I rarely touch the stuff these days; only having a little snifter at the weekends. My chosen poison these days is tea of many  varieties, but often decaffeinated ( Ye Gods ); the reason being it stops me from over-using my ' water-pump, ' if you catch my drift or hopefully not ( Ho! Ho! )

Saw  the local 'quack '  Barry Wells ( known to our family, unsurprisingly as B.Well. ) He gave me a pretty good report and an extra tablet ( blast). Told me to keep on taking the porridge, cut down on the frequency of the buttered crumpets and jam, try to get further weight-loss and do more exercise.

But surely exercise is in inverse proportion to  the size of the television screen and I have a 55 inch, I joshed. 
Barry was not amused. He said , perhaps I should invest in a bicycle-( good heavens, mustn't tell the Memsahib, or she'll  get one too and be chasing me all over the estate.)

Talking of tablets the other day; whilst getting hot under the collar, watching  "Question Time, " my good lady upset at my profanities, said I should get a tablet.' But the Doc' , I interposed.

'No, not  that sort, I mean a  computer type tablet, like Baxter's iPad, that he uses all the time,'  the Memsahib replied; ' then you can join in the television  debate and put your views across, '

' Does that mean  I have to be a twit, ' I  added.

' No comment, ' was the Lady's rejoinder.

The Memsahib, you may remember, awhile ago was on the look-out for big-cats on the estate. This proved to be a fruitless endeavour, but sparking her natural curiosity in creatures, she has recently joined an evening class in taxidermy, where apparently you start with mice and work upwards; all the rage, she tells me.
 Expect her, in the future, to muster the troops, to seek and find 'roadkills ' and corpses upon the estate.
Not sure I want a stuffed weasel in my study though.

Expecting a package from our local postman Clary Pigeon ( Carrier Pigeon) with my shares from the  sell-off of the Royal Mail- A first class delivery, indeed. Good show.

Now the boy George has brought ' easy ' mortgages forward, my accountant Charlie 'Shylock' Gendry is busy seeking, on our behalf a little 'hideout ' in the Lyme Regis area- ready for the spring. Topping.

My 'Empire" brand of bottled waters continues to be a market pleaser and the recent " Great Storm " has provided extra timber on the ground to enhance  wood sales to our growing wood-burner customers.

 All in all: tickity boo.

Wishing you all a good Christmas; remembering  that you must spend your way out of a recession, so have a ' note-worthy ' time and frequent your stores.

Time for an Earl Grey session.

 Goodbye.
WC.

WwwwwwwwwW





@CTFCofficial Cheltenham Expects--- Look after your Goalie. He has saved you many times in the past. COYR



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The Apple iPad, a tablet or multi-touch computer has been with us since April 2010. Since then it has undergone development and has produced five different versions.

The latest the "iPad Air " was released today (01 / 11 ).

It has a new A7 processor which runs the machine 20% faster than older models. This chip can also be found in the iPhone 5S. It is the thinest and lightest iPad ever made. It weighs just one pound (469grams).
       I went into the Apple Store and used one today. Strange to say it felt heavier than I expected. But that, of course is relative. It is a lovely, bright- displayed machine. A positive joy to use, being ultra responsive to my touch.
Here are two pictures, showing my blog ( what else ) on the Air.







Oh did I mention the price?  £399 for the basic 16GB with Wi-Fi.

Have to wait on that one then.

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Well we survived the ' Great Storm ' here, thank goodness and the week passed relatively quietly, "in those dark and gloomy days before Christmas, " as my Late Mother was prone to say. Christmas is only nine weeks away and already, in Cheltenham, shop windows are beginning to announce the coming festive season.

Cheerio,
Ck.



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