Leader's Sketches:Bloomin' Good

With the General Election only a handful of days away, here is my lighthearted sketch of the Party Leaders.

Mr Clegg:

Dear old Nick, suffers from two main faults. He always tells the truth, as he sees it and doesn't understand the game of politics. Recently I observed him in the manner of an annoyed Deputy Head, tearing a strip off the Headmaster, in front of the class. Hardly a good political move.

One of my viewing delights watching PMQs is the bored look Nick often betrays. He seems to be thinking ' Get me out of here, what am I doing in this jungle?'

However he is learning an important lesson  being; say little, in terms of policy details, keep ones head down and as a result deliver better than expected party results. 

Mr Cameron:

 he seems to be  looking progressively  tired the longer this election business goes on. He can't understand why he is not further ahead in the polls. After all, all of the indicators are pointing in the right direction. Unemployment is falling, inflation is staying low and the economy continues to be the fastest growing in Europe. He even has a Royal baby lined up ( please don't call him Edward! ) to keep the people happy.

He should now, I believe, stop sniping at opponents and rely on the good old mantra: ' It's the economy stupid. '  Eventually, the voters will get the message.

Mr. Milliband:

First of all I must congratulate him on his choice of tailor. He really has 'scrubbed up well. '

He must avoid constantly using the word " look " at the start of each answer.

' Look, we really,  do get the point Ed. '

If possible he should try to tone down his smile and particularly his 'pearly whites ', which rather dazzle, especially when viewing in in high definition. If he is to become Prime Minister, he will need support from other groups, so he needs a conciliatory approach to them, keeping avenues open and thus not breaking or making any deals.

The slaughter comes later when he produces his first cabinet and talking of which, they say two heads are better than one, but two Eds in Downing Street, I think not. Mr. Balls be very careful.

Mr. Farage:

 Young Nigel is a lad. He reminds me of a 'slimmed-down ' Norm from " Cheers ," who perched on his bar-stool and told the same repeated  jokes every night. Timing is everything in politics and when you are sponsored by 'Timex ', things go awry. If the European Elections were closer to our General, UKIP would  have had an uplift in the polls. As it is, if Nigel falls of his bar-stool, will he be able to find a parliamentry seat?

I hope so. His knock about manner will be a tonic in a probable rather fusty House of Commons.

By the by, I hear the UKIPs manifesto  was printed in Germany. We love him don't we?


Ms. Bennett.


The Greens continue  constructively to add to the debate, but what Natalie should realise is that the parties' USP ( unique selling point ) is Global Warming and the Environment. While she has views on the National Health, the Economy, Immigration etc., she should avoid discussion and major on the aforementioned subjects.

For, whilst we will get over a economic turn-down, and bash the National Health back to some sort of shape, the long term prospects of climate change look pretty bleak; unless we take further action now.

The Greens, therefore need to form alliances with any party that will listen. In this way the Greens will gradually improve their prospects and eventually become a force in todays' politics.

On a personal level, Natelie love sorry,  but your wardrobe choices leave much to be desired. I know this shouldn't be an issue, but in today's designer ethic, it seems to matter.


Ms.Sturgeon.

Congrats, firstly  to her promotion team. Launching the Scots Nats. manifesto  in a climbing wall environment in Edinburgh was a stroke of genius. The way to the top could clearly be seen.

Feisty Nicola has been given five stars for her performance. If anything she is becoming too cocky and needs a dose of ' salmon paste ' to calm her down. Trying to ' hive-off ' Scotland, whilst keeping Westminster happy, is a very tough gig to pull off indeed.
 She needs, I feel to tone down her costumes and wear those of a pastel hue. The polls show, she has the seats she requires. So follow Mr. Clegg's example, keep down and don't rock the coracle. Deals can be concluded AFTER the election.


Ms. Leanne Wood, Plaid Cymru.

 Move along please !

GggggggggggggggggggN

As I told you, last Tuesday (21 / 4) was a beautiful day. The sun shone brightly and the landscape looked crisp and sharp. D. and I journeyed to the Brockampton Estate, a National Trust property  in Herefordshire.

Brockhampton.

We parked in the top carpark and walked the mile or so, down the valley to the Manor House.
As we walked down a short cut over the sheep grazing slope, I espied an attractive gorse bush
gleaming in the sun.

We continued down a road by the side of the trees until we reached the Manor House at the bottom of the valley.

 It was surrounded by a moat, which as D. remarked was devoid of its usual crop of lilies.

A lovely crop of white daffodils enhanced the view.

To the left of the house was this ruined abbey/chapel.

Here is the view through the arched window.

Finally, some photos of the orchard and  walks around the house; all dressed in its spring beauty.

Splendid sights for an April day.

*******************

Before I leave you today, I must pay my repects to AP ' Tony ' McCoy, who this Saturday  ( 25 / 4 ) at the traditional end of the jump racing season, at Sandown Park will be retiring as a jockey. This after being Champion Jockey for the past twenty years. A record unlikely to be beat. He has amassed over four thousand winners; more than anyone in jump racing history and has shown an unquenchable thirst for riding horses, day in, day out on all of Britain's tracks, including a hundred and seventy four at Cheltenham, over the last five years. 

He has just got on with the job and has provided the perfect role model for his sport. Farewell Champ.

AP

That about wraps it up for another week. Good luck to those taking part in Sunday's London Marathon ( always a good excuse to snuggle down in bed as you watch those pounding legs using up all that energy.

Next week brings May and a real hope of a lovely Spring.

Enjoy,

Cheerio,

 C.k.